[dw1/text!] The Cured

[conduit]

[ Rangiku wasn't a stranger to this weekend's strange doings. And, now, more than ever, she's determined to help Johto see the light! That these fourth walls and their extra events are merely alcohol binges that the entire region, from Maria to Jack Skellington, takes part in! ]

Hello, everyone! It's your favorite party girl, Rangiku Matsumoto, reporting in with some helpful tips to make sure your lives continue safely ★~!!

Now, recently, I've been noticing that every six months or so, everyone wakes up with a weird, vague recollection of what happened and a giant headache. Being experienced with hangovers, I decided to make a little faq of what just went on. Well, enjoy!

1. So, what happened this weekend?

Well, simply put, you partied ★! For some reason, you were intoxicated by drinking alcohol, one of the best things there is to enjoy in Johto, or in any world! How this happened, or why this happened, isn't very known! Perhaps all of the water turns into saké as part of a Team Rocket evil plot, or something in the air makes you wanna drink, or maybe it's just a festival that no one could remember but point is you got wasted. If you rarely drink, you probably vomited in someone's hair, and made a fool of yourself in public doing humiliating things you would have never done if you had an ounce of sobriety on you ★!

But, most of us, who can handle their drinking, just merely passed out. No biggie ★! So, somewhere along the lines, you just got drunk, somehow, and passed out after doing some very questionably possible things. You might be able to remember vague insane experiences, but, please be assured, it was only the alcohol processing that info, and, sometimes saké gives you wild dreams ★!

2. So, what are the effects now?

The inability to recall what happened the previous night is the biggest one and a sign that you definitely partied hard. Another sign is waking up in strange places you don't recall ever visiting ★! Other side effects include headache, nausea, sensitivity to light and sound, lethargy, intense feelings of depression, thirst, and diarrhea ★! Rest assured though, as the latter symptoms are very rare and Johto's bathrooms are eternally clean! (I hope!)

3. How can I cure it?
Well, speaking from personal experience of over two centuries of unsobriety, these remedies have varying levels of success.

A. Drink. Like A Fish

No, seriously ★! The more water you have, the more your body is able to feel better. You're super dehydrated after you go on these wild alcohol binges so you'll feel a lot better if you just get some liquid back into you!

B. Vitamin B6
Studies have shown that not only taking several hundred times the recommended amount of a daily intake isn't fatal for you, but it also helps your hangover!

C. Pokélyte!
Or any drink that gives you more electrolytes! Feraligatrade and Psyducmax are excellent examples of these types of drinks!


D. Drink more Alcohol!
My favorite cure! The party don't stop, no! Just drink until your hangover goes away! It'll stave off the symptoms and buy you time to try the rest of these to kill it for good!

E. Food and Water
Food absorbs the alcohol quicker, so just eat tons of noodles and you'll be feeling better in no time ★!

F. Oxygen!

Just get some more, somehow ★!

G. Tons of Honey and/or Sugar!
Cure your sweet tooth as you drink! My personal favorite if you like drinking tea, so make some for a deadly hangover killing mix ★!

H. Artichoke
If you're boring!

There are many more odd remedies, so, if these somehow don't do it for you, just let me know and I'll be able to prescribe some more ★! Anything to help my fellow Johto-ians! Anyways, I hope your hangovers ease up just as much as mine do!

The doctor is out ★~!

Comments

text

[impulsives]

...You've gotta be kidding me.

text

[conduit]

Why would I be kidding you? I mean, can't you see I put so much effort into this! I can't possibly be joking!

[text]

[ordalias]

Wait, what did I drink?

[text] 1/2

[conduit]

Wait, you don't know what alcohol is?!

[ HEATHEN. ]

[text]

[conduit]

Alcohol is a delicious substance that makes people feel super good when they drink it! Sometimes, though, there are tons of negative effects that make it unsafe to drink in large quantities or as a child~!

[Text]

[freezetheskies]

[He'd been planning on avoiding the network for a while and playing hermit because of his issues after that...week long nightmare, but this? Good grief she's at it again.]

You do realize there are children here who wouldn't need this "advice", don't you?

[Text] || 1/2

[conduit]

As if Johto cares about the children Taichou! They've been exposed to several things they shouldn't know about, ever! It's not my fault they're in Johto! They need my advice just as much as the rest of the town. They may have not been intoxicated by choice, but, I'll be there for them regardless!!

[ RANGIKU: she thinks about the children! ]

text

[sculpted]

[[...this is

quite possibly the most dazzling text he's ever received

he approves]]

Ah, young miss; you believe this was caused by excessive alcohol consumption?

[[BECAUSE THAT WOULD EXPLAIN WHY HE'S...KIND OF REALLY SORE, UM.....]]

text

[conduit]

[ STAR POWER. TOGETHER, THEY'RE BESTIES. ]

I do! I can recognize the signs from a mile away, and everyone is totally hung over ★

text

[snapandscoot]

[[...this is

quite possibly the most perky text she's ever received

she approves]]

It must have been quite the party, because I honestly can't remember anything that happened!

[[APART FROM....APPARENTLY USING A HELL OF A LOT OF FILM AND GETTING NO PHOTOS IN RETURN, UM....]]

[conduit]

[ Ty approval is the best type of approval! ]

Neither can I! I have some vague memory of stumbling in a field of flowers, but I think that was a dream.

It must have been quite the celebration though, to not remember a single thing about it! It's one of the many reasons why I like Johto! [ because she can fool herself into thinking she got uber plastered. ]

[Text]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

You really are a complete moron, aren't you?

[Text]

[conduit]

Okay, Mr. Know-it-all, what do you think caused all of these sudden hangovers?

[ HER THEORY IS GENNIIIIIUUUUUUS. SHE'S BEEN WORKING ON IT FOR SEVENTY YEARS!!! ]

[vulpesvivus]

I don't drink.

[conduit]

And normally my soul stays attached to my body and it isn't stolen by some hollow shell ghost bug.

But, Johto made both happen regardless ★!

[ Sorry, Hal. Your concern is rejected ): ]

[text]

[used_trick]

Pretty sure I don't like booze. Why would I drink that much?

[text]

[conduit]

Johto works in mysterious ways. I'm sure I wasn't the only one that didn't notice a little mood change during the most romantic day of the year! Maybe they just put you in the mood for drinking ★~!

[Text]

[tinymoonkid]

You're over 200 years old?

[Text]

[conduit]

Yeah. It's a long story! Basically, aging in my world works very, very weirdly. You just grow up, but it's super super slowly★~!

[Text]

[babel_hacker]

But I don't drink alcohol.

[Text]

[conduit]

Johto has forced people to do things they don't want to do before! It happens like, once every year or something! Johto could have easily put us all in the booze mood!

[action since they're roomies right now?]

[machinamonkey]

...Ran, I don't drink. At all.

yes!!! they are!! [action!!]

[conduit]

Well, most people in Johto don't drink! [ beat. ] Which is why I think Johto influenced everyone to drink! [ JOHTO: FESTERING ALCOHOLISM SINCE 2010! ]

[ text ]

[uuing]

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★!!!

[ you see, Maria didn't really read any of this, she just found the stars so interesting she's trying to imitate them on her own device.. ]

[ text ]

[conduit]

Maria!! I didn't know you could make stars! This is so great!

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★!!

[Text]

[tobeyourhero]

Hah? I've got a really high drinking tolerance, so I never get drunk.

[video]

[conduit]

[ As soon as Rangiku gets this message, she turns on the video feed and stares at Kazama as if he turned into an angry purple unicorn and started to destroy her things. ]

You don't get drunk!? How?! [ Rangiku has been drinking for as long as she can remember and she still gets drunk! ] Maybe someone just knocked you out, or you fell asleep on your own, or maybe Johto lowered your tolerance or something. [ Still staring at him like he's an angry, homewrecking purple unicorn. ]

[text]

[when_turks_fly]

Isn't that a little farfetched insofar as explanations go?

[ Or too sensible. This is Johto, after all. ]

Sorry for the sluggishness. I had finals!

[conduit]

It's sensible! I mean, this is johto. Anything is possible here, even all of us getting drunk and waking up the next morning without any recollection of what happened or evidence it did happen!

text

[enjoymyatelier]

...I highly doubt that's the case.

[but does he really believe that, or is that just wishful thinking...]

Sorry for the sluggishness. I had finals!

[conduit]

And I highly believe you're in denial~!

[ IT'S WISHFUL THINKING. IT'S ALWAYS WISHFUL THINKING. ]

[text]

[usedquack]

But I had just got here and I didn't even have time to drink anything!

[text]

[conduit]

Huh? When did you arrive?

[ uh oh. Irrefutable evidence that she's wrong! ]

[text]

[milquetoasthero]

...If I was drunk, then how did I manage to get out Ilex Forest unscathed and to Goldenrod City?

[LET HIM POKE HOLES IN YOUR THEORY.]

[text]

[conduit]

Cause your pokémon lead the way! They wouldn't let their masters get hurt at all, after all!

[ LET RANGIKU COUNTER YOUR LOGIC WITH ABSURD THEORIES. ]

[text]

[takechuhome]

Ehh? Did Rena really drink, really? ...Sounds fishy, Rangiku... Rena thought she was underage...

Sorry for the sluggishness. I had finals!

[conduit]

Johto might have influenced everyone to drink, including the young people. It's not that strange. They've done worse!

[text]

[usedfeatherdance]

Funny, this doesn't feel like a hangover.

Sorry for the sluggishness. I had finals!

[conduit]

Maybe hangovers are just really light to you, or you didn't have that much to drink! Hangovers are different for everyone, after all~!

Have you ever been hungover though? [ You seem sort of...goody two shoes. ]

text

[kyoukashotennis]

... I'm pretty sure that's not possible.

Sorry for the sluggishness. I had finals!

[conduit]

Johto does the impossible all the time! It totally is possible!

[text] Hoping late tags are okay!

[eclectical]

even if that is what happened, it doesnt really explain how i ended up going all the way from celadon to goldenrod in one weekend

also, did you say you are over two hundred years old??? :o

[text] I TAGGED FIVE DAY POSTS YESTERDAY SO OF COURSE THEY'RE FINE!

[conduit]

Maybe you drunkenly took the train or a helicopter or something!

And yeah! Around 200 years old! Admittedly, I don't remember the exact year. [ ...Although, that's all she has to say on that matter. She's tight lipped when it comes to age and stuff! It's rude to ask a woman for that information anyways Jade!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ]