[dw1/text!] The Cured

[conduit]

[ Rangiku wasn't a stranger to this weekend's strange doings. And, now, more than ever, she's determined to help Johto see the light! That these fourth walls and their extra events are merely alcohol binges that the entire region, from Maria to Jack Skellington, takes part in! ]

Hello, everyone! It's your favorite party girl, Rangiku Matsumoto, reporting in with some helpful tips to make sure your lives continue safely ★~!!

Now, recently, I've been noticing that every six months or so, everyone wakes up with a weird, vague recollection of what happened and a giant headache. Being experienced with hangovers, I decided to make a little faq of what just went on. Well, enjoy!

1. So, what happened this weekend?

Well, simply put, you partied ★! For some reason, you were intoxicated by drinking alcohol, one of the best things there is to enjoy in Johto, or in any world! How this happened, or why this happened, isn't very known! Perhaps all of the water turns into saké as part of a Team Rocket evil plot, or something in the air makes you wanna drink, or maybe it's just a festival that no one could remember but point is you got wasted. If you rarely drink, you probably vomited in someone's hair, and made a fool of yourself in public doing humiliating things you would have never done if you had an ounce of sobriety on you ★!

But, most of us, who can handle their drinking, just merely passed out. No biggie ★! So, somewhere along the lines, you just got drunk, somehow, and passed out after doing some very questionably possible things. You might be able to remember vague insane experiences, but, please be assured, it was only the alcohol processing that info, and, sometimes saké gives you wild dreams ★!

2. So, what are the effects now?

The inability to recall what happened the previous night is the biggest one and a sign that you definitely partied hard. Another sign is waking up in strange places you don't recall ever visiting ★! Other side effects include headache, nausea, sensitivity to light and sound, lethargy, intense feelings of depression, thirst, and diarrhea ★! Rest assured though, as the latter symptoms are very rare and Johto's bathrooms are eternally clean! (I hope!)

3. How can I cure it?
Well, speaking from personal experience of over two centuries of unsobriety, these remedies have varying levels of success.

A. Drink. Like A Fish

No, seriously ★! The more water you have, the more your body is able to feel better. You're super dehydrated after you go on these wild alcohol binges so you'll feel a lot better if you just get some liquid back into you!

B. Vitamin B6
Studies have shown that not only taking several hundred times the recommended amount of a daily intake isn't fatal for you, but it also helps your hangover!

C. Pokélyte!
Or any drink that gives you more electrolytes! Feraligatrade and Psyducmax are excellent examples of these types of drinks!


D. Drink more Alcohol!
My favorite cure! The party don't stop, no! Just drink until your hangover goes away! It'll stave off the symptoms and buy you time to try the rest of these to kill it for good!

E. Food and Water
Food absorbs the alcohol quicker, so just eat tons of noodles and you'll be feeling better in no time ★!

F. Oxygen!

Just get some more, somehow ★!

G. Tons of Honey and/or Sugar!
Cure your sweet tooth as you drink! My personal favorite if you like drinking tea, so make some for a deadly hangover killing mix ★!

H. Artichoke
If you're boring!

There are many more odd remedies, so, if these somehow don't do it for you, just let me know and I'll be able to prescribe some more ★! Anything to help my fellow Johto-ians! Anyways, I hope your hangovers ease up just as much as mine do!

The doctor is out ★~!

Comments

[enjoymyatelier]

I would presume it was either the work of a Legendary Pokemon or some sort of time/space anomaly. Granted, the two may not be mutually exclusive.

[conduit]

A legendary pokémon wouldn't interfere with us like this! And the only legendary pokémon that have appeared are the three legendary dogs. But since when would a pokémon even have powers over our memory? There's evidence that something happened over the timespan of three days, after all.

[enjoymyatelier]

How do you know they wouldn't? The fact that only three legendary Pokemon have appeared thus far means that we know very little about the other ones. If there can be Pokemon with power over storms and one with the ability to instantly purify any body of water, then, theoretically, there could be a Pokemon with power over memories.

[conduit]

But water is a natural element that's not a closed concept dispersed globally. It makes sense a pokemon can make storms in the area they're in because they travel but that's no proof of a Pokemon being able to capture someone's memories completely. And, even then, why erase only three days.

[enjoymyatelier]

How do you know there's no proof? Are you familiar with all the legends in this world?

[conduit]

Have you ever seen a legend that could target an entire region and their memories at once? And, this has happened four times already. If there was a pokemon that could wipe memories clean, wouldn't we discovered him through everyone's post "I lost three days worth of memory" research craze?

[enjoymyatelier]

How do we know people weren't just looking in the wrong places? There are more regions than just Johto, aren't there?

[conduit]

Have you ever heard of anyone coming from these other regions within three days? They seem awfully far from every description I've ever heard.

[enjoymyatelier]

And? Legendary Pokemon aren't going to operate by normal rules. I would assume there's a reason many people haven't encountered them.

[conduit]

The other regional pokemon could show up here within a span of a day, but, wouldn't they be noted in the books too? Or wouldn't someone have noticed them before everyone was afflicted with amnesia? And, even then, I'm sure it'd be possible to search for legendary pokemon that can erase memories en masse. If they're that open about their abilities, they've probably exposed themselves numerous of times.

[enjoymyatelier]

We are talking about a theoretical legendary Pokemon that can erase memories en masse and you are questioning why nobody remembers it showing up.

Think about this line of logic for a moment.

[conduit]

Are you saying not one person would notice its presence and not get its memory erased? That it consistently erases everyone's memories every six months like clockwork for three days only? Why would it do any of these things anyways? It seems to be a pokemon that interacts with people often if it has no qualms about coming here without notice.

[ She's intentionally ignoring the elephant in the room. That wasn't her finest moment, but, if she doesn't think about it, it won't exist. ]

[enjoymyatelier]

These things are somewhat self-aware, aren't they? There are plenty of humans who do odd, frustrating things to other people for their own amusement, so why shouldn't a Pokemon? Furthermore, if it's that familiar with humans but also has the ability to avoid detection, I would assume it has the ability to disguise itself. This is not exactly a completely unprecedented ability.

[conduit]

It's not, but it still seems odd and unnatural for it to come here and affect all of us every six months. And, wouldn't it somehow be recorded on the pokegear? Do you really think it can wipe technology too?

[enjoymyatelier]

Possibly, although it's more plausible than the idea that there was a gigantic party and no one whatsoever made any drunken calls or texts that could be recovered.

[conduit]

There doesn't seem to be any data on the pokegear though. Maybe everyone forgot them, or they just malfunctioned. Or maybe it was wiped clean by the people who run the place because they got drunk and just screwed around with the controls!

[enjoymyatelier]

..."The people who run the place?"

[conduit]

Like the people who maintain the network and everything! There has to be someone running the whole thing!

[enjoymyatelier]

That certainly is true, and there's obviously some sort of coverup going on as far as this incident was concerned...

[conduit]

Yeah. So someone has to know something about these pokemon if they were able to cover it up!

[enjoymyatelier]

Perhaps, then, they're covering it up because there's some reason why they want to hide its existence.

[conduit]

Then this is now just one giant unsupported conspiracy theory. [ rangiku is a big giant h y p o c r i t e. ): ]

[enjoymyatelier]

Well they both are, aren't they?

[conduit]

[ Oh! What a great point!

....That's going to get briefly acknowledged and then decoyed. ] Yeah, but mine's funner and a lot less dangerous than wild memory swiping pokemon on the loose. It means we probably drunk together! Can you just imagine it...? [ wait let her tell you what you're supposed to imagine. ] A world where there's no wars, no people yelling, no hunger, no negativity - everyone just drinks! [ IF EVERYONE WAS PLASTERED, THERE'D BE NO WARS or anything else. ]

[enjoymyatelier]

[imagine alll the people, living for todaaaaaay]

It doesn't sound particularly palatable to me. Nothing would ever get done, firstly, and I really doubt that a world of drunks would be as peaceful as you're making it out to be.