conduit: (Default)
conduit ([personal profile] conduit) wrote2012-05-29 08:39 pm

[dw1/text!] The Cured

[ Rangiku wasn't a stranger to this weekend's strange doings. And, now, more than ever, she's determined to help Johto see the light! That these fourth walls and their extra events are merely alcohol binges that the entire region, from Maria to Jack Skellington, takes part in! ]

Hello, everyone! It's your favorite party girl, Rangiku Matsumoto, reporting in with some helpful tips to make sure your lives continue safely ★~!!

Now, recently, I've been noticing that every six months or so, everyone wakes up with a weird, vague recollection of what happened and a giant headache. Being experienced with hangovers, I decided to make a little faq of what just went on. Well, enjoy!

1. So, what happened this weekend?

Well, simply put, you partied ★! For some reason, you were intoxicated by drinking alcohol, one of the best things there is to enjoy in Johto, or in any world! How this happened, or why this happened, isn't very known! Perhaps all of the water turns into saké as part of a Team Rocket evil plot, or something in the air makes you wanna drink, or maybe it's just a festival that no one could remember but point is you got wasted. If you rarely drink, you probably vomited in someone's hair, and made a fool of yourself in public doing humiliating things you would have never done if you had an ounce of sobriety on you ★!

But, most of us, who can handle their drinking, just merely passed out. No biggie ★! So, somewhere along the lines, you just got drunk, somehow, and passed out after doing some very questionably possible things. You might be able to remember vague insane experiences, but, please be assured, it was only the alcohol processing that info, and, sometimes saké gives you wild dreams ★!

2. So, what are the effects now?

The inability to recall what happened the previous night is the biggest one and a sign that you definitely partied hard. Another sign is waking up in strange places you don't recall ever visiting ★! Other side effects include headache, nausea, sensitivity to light and sound, lethargy, intense feelings of depression, thirst, and diarrhea ★! Rest assured though, as the latter symptoms are very rare and Johto's bathrooms are eternally clean! (I hope!)

3. How can I cure it?
Well, speaking from personal experience of over two centuries of unsobriety, these remedies have varying levels of success.

A. Drink. Like A Fish

No, seriously ★! The more water you have, the more your body is able to feel better. You're super dehydrated after you go on these wild alcohol binges so you'll feel a lot better if you just get some liquid back into you!

B. Vitamin B6
Studies have shown that not only taking several hundred times the recommended amount of a daily intake isn't fatal for you, but it also helps your hangover!

C. Pokélyte!
Or any drink that gives you more electrolytes! Feraligatrade and Psyducmax are excellent examples of these types of drinks!


D. Drink more Alcohol!
My favorite cure! The party don't stop, no! Just drink until your hangover goes away! It'll stave off the symptoms and buy you time to try the rest of these to kill it for good!

E. Food and Water
Food absorbs the alcohol quicker, so just eat tons of noodles and you'll be feeling better in no time ★!

F. Oxygen!

Just get some more, somehow ★!

G. Tons of Honey and/or Sugar!
Cure your sweet tooth as you drink! My personal favorite if you like drinking tea, so make some for a deadly hangover killing mix ★!

H. Artichoke
If you're boring!

There are many more odd remedies, so, if these somehow don't do it for you, just let me know and I'll be able to prescribe some more ★! Anything to help my fellow Johto-ians! Anyways, I hope your hangovers ease up just as much as mine do!

The doctor is out ★~!



impulsives: (Shinn | Yeah yeah)

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[personal profile] impulsives 2012-05-30 04:04 am (UTC)(link)
...You've gotta be kidding me.
ordalias: (a bit distant)

[text]

[personal profile] ordalias 2012-05-30 04:06 am (UTC)(link)
Wait, what did I drink?
freezetheskies: (do you have a point?)

[Text]

[personal profile] freezetheskies 2012-05-30 04:10 am (UTC)(link)
[He'd been planning on avoiding the network for a while and playing hermit because of his issues after that...week long nightmare, but this? Good grief she's at it again.]

You do realize there are children here who wouldn't need this "advice", don't you?
sculpted: (One sees it stand in the angels' chorus)

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[personal profile] sculpted 2012-05-30 04:35 am (UTC)(link)
[[...this is

quite possibly the most dazzling text he's ever received

he approves]]


Ah, young miss; you believe this was caused by excessive alcohol consumption?

[[BECAUSE THAT WOULD EXPLAIN WHY HE'S...KIND OF REALLY SORE, UM.....]]
snapandscoot: (Um....)

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[personal profile] snapandscoot 2012-05-30 04:37 am (UTC)(link)
[[...this is

quite possibly the most perky text she's ever received

she approves]]


It must have been quite the party, because I honestly can't remember anything that happened!

[[APART FROM....APPARENTLY USING A HELL OF A LOT OF FILM AND GETTING NO PHOTOS IN RETURN, UM....]]
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (TAKES A SSSTRONG STOMACH TO SEE MY FACE)

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[personal profile] cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa 2012-05-30 04:40 am (UTC)(link)
You really are a complete moron, aren't you?
freezetheskies: (fruits of the labor)

[Text] 1/2

[personal profile] freezetheskies 2012-05-30 04:45 am (UTC)(link)
And sending them to the nurses wouldn't be the better idea? It isn't as if drinking more will help them, you know. It never seemed to help you any.

[Rangiku....what is he going to do with you, honestly.]
Edited 2012-05-30 04:45 (UTC)
freezetheskies: 13ofnothing@LJ (guilt)

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[personal profile] freezetheskies 2012-05-30 04:48 am (UTC)(link)
[Other than pause and not know how to respond to that, anyway. So she did notice, huh? Good to know, but...well. He's trying not to think on it and it's hard because on the one hand at least he's finally lived through it but on the other now he wishes he hadn't and...he's just a bundle of issues right now. Pardon him if he's snippy.]

I suppose it is better here than it would have been remaining there.
vulpesvivus: (x// calling to the night)

[personal profile] vulpesvivus 2012-05-30 04:56 am (UTC)(link)
I don't drink.
used_trick: (wat)

[text]

[personal profile] used_trick 2012-05-30 04:58 am (UTC)(link)
Pretty sure I don't like booze. Why would I drink that much?
tinymoonkid: (every way that you look)

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[personal profile] tinymoonkid 2012-05-30 05:04 am (UTC)(link)
You're over 200 years old?
babel_hacker: (Eh!?)

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[personal profile] babel_hacker 2012-05-30 05:11 am (UTC)(link)
But I don't drink alcohol.

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