conduit: (Default)
conduit ([personal profile] conduit) wrote2012-05-29 08:39 pm

[dw1/text!] The Cured

[ Rangiku wasn't a stranger to this weekend's strange doings. And, now, more than ever, she's determined to help Johto see the light! That these fourth walls and their extra events are merely alcohol binges that the entire region, from Maria to Jack Skellington, takes part in! ]

Hello, everyone! It's your favorite party girl, Rangiku Matsumoto, reporting in with some helpful tips to make sure your lives continue safely ★~!!

Now, recently, I've been noticing that every six months or so, everyone wakes up with a weird, vague recollection of what happened and a giant headache. Being experienced with hangovers, I decided to make a little faq of what just went on. Well, enjoy!

1. So, what happened this weekend?

Well, simply put, you partied ★! For some reason, you were intoxicated by drinking alcohol, one of the best things there is to enjoy in Johto, or in any world! How this happened, or why this happened, isn't very known! Perhaps all of the water turns into saké as part of a Team Rocket evil plot, or something in the air makes you wanna drink, or maybe it's just a festival that no one could remember but point is you got wasted. If you rarely drink, you probably vomited in someone's hair, and made a fool of yourself in public doing humiliating things you would have never done if you had an ounce of sobriety on you ★!

But, most of us, who can handle their drinking, just merely passed out. No biggie ★! So, somewhere along the lines, you just got drunk, somehow, and passed out after doing some very questionably possible things. You might be able to remember vague insane experiences, but, please be assured, it was only the alcohol processing that info, and, sometimes saké gives you wild dreams ★!

2. So, what are the effects now?

The inability to recall what happened the previous night is the biggest one and a sign that you definitely partied hard. Another sign is waking up in strange places you don't recall ever visiting ★! Other side effects include headache, nausea, sensitivity to light and sound, lethargy, intense feelings of depression, thirst, and diarrhea ★! Rest assured though, as the latter symptoms are very rare and Johto's bathrooms are eternally clean! (I hope!)

3. How can I cure it?
Well, speaking from personal experience of over two centuries of unsobriety, these remedies have varying levels of success.

A. Drink. Like A Fish

No, seriously ★! The more water you have, the more your body is able to feel better. You're super dehydrated after you go on these wild alcohol binges so you'll feel a lot better if you just get some liquid back into you!

B. Vitamin B6
Studies have shown that not only taking several hundred times the recommended amount of a daily intake isn't fatal for you, but it also helps your hangover!

C. Pokélyte!
Or any drink that gives you more electrolytes! Feraligatrade and Psyducmax are excellent examples of these types of drinks!


D. Drink more Alcohol!
My favorite cure! The party don't stop, no! Just drink until your hangover goes away! It'll stave off the symptoms and buy you time to try the rest of these to kill it for good!

E. Food and Water
Food absorbs the alcohol quicker, so just eat tons of noodles and you'll be feeling better in no time ★!

F. Oxygen!

Just get some more, somehow ★!

G. Tons of Honey and/or Sugar!
Cure your sweet tooth as you drink! My personal favorite if you like drinking tea, so make some for a deadly hangover killing mix ★!

H. Artichoke
If you're boring!

There are many more odd remedies, so, if these somehow don't do it for you, just let me know and I'll be able to prescribe some more ★! Anything to help my fellow Johto-ians! Anyways, I hope your hangovers ease up just as much as mine do!

The doctor is out ★~!



uuing: (there's a face i want to see)

[ voice ]

[personal profile] uuing 2012-05-30 02:27 pm (UTC)(link)
Uu-! [ It's easier to speak than type, it takes much longer for an 80's kid.. ]

Maria thinks the stars are re-ally cute, so she wanted to make some too to cheer everything up!
uuing: (the angles were all wrong now)

I know you did, bby, come to mommy's arms..

[personal profile] uuing 2012-06-01 07:42 pm (UTC)(link)
[ soon Maria will be feared over the communicators with all her symbols.. ]

Maria wants to know how to use all of them..! Uu-, teach Maria, teach Maria!
uuing: (put on a smile even if i'm sly)

[personal profile] uuing 2012-06-02 09:23 pm (UTC)(link)
Uu-, Maria remembers! Here, look, Maria can do it again..!

★★★★★★★
uuing: (and the tears come)

[personal profile] uuing 2012-06-04 06:12 pm (UTC)(link)
That's so many symbols..! Who made all of those, Ranran? Someone must've thought up that many pretty symbols on this, right..? Uu-?
uuing: (you can't hold it in your hand)

[personal profile] uuing 2012-06-06 09:00 pm (UTC)(link)
Uu-, Ranran knows so much about this.. [ She actually does look a little amazed, blinking for a while.

Maria can recognize a lot of them though! There's stars and a sun and clouds and an umbrella and a snowman.. and then there's those symbols you find on cards, right?
uuing: (even in the dark)

[personal profile] uuing 2012-06-07 01:52 pm (UTC)(link)
Maria likes hearts a lot too! They're really warm since they stand for love and friendship and family, kyakyakya!

And Maria likes the stars too since it's a lot of fun to watch them at night.. they're pretty.
uuing: (you built up a world of magic)

[personal profile] uuing 2012-06-09 03:17 pm (UTC)(link)
Uu-, really..? Why wouldn't boys like hearts, Ranran? Aren't hearts really wonderful and warm, Maria doesn't get why anyone wouldn't like them!
uuing: (you can't hold it in your hand)

[personal profile] uuing 2012-06-09 09:06 pm (UTC)(link)
Uu-, Maria thinks Ranran must be right..! A real man would like hearts, he would even love them!

... Maria wonders if Battler likes hearts..
uuing: (you built up a world of magic)

[personal profile] uuing 2012-06-09 09:59 pm (UTC)(link)
A guy I like..? [ she doesn't get it for a few moments, but after some 'uu' thinking noises she seems to realise. ]

Does Ranran mean Battler..? Uu-, no wa-y, Battler is Maria's cousin! Maria likes Battler a lot though, he's very nice and funny!
uuing: (i want to live without sadness)

[personal profile] uuing 2012-06-10 05:18 pm (UTC)(link)
Is Maria concerned..?

Uu-, that's not it, not it at all..! [ a pout. ] Maria just wanted to know if he likes hearts, since Maria thinks everyone should and Battler is a good kid usually!
uuing: (put on a smile even if i'm sly)

[personal profile] uuing 2012-06-11 07:41 pm (UTC)(link)
Okay! Maria will show him on this thing if he ever comes to Johto again, uu-! And if he does come back here, Ranran should meet him too!
uuing: (please chase it; chase it)

[personal profile] uuing 2012-06-14 01:01 pm (UTC)(link)
Uu-, Maria thinks Battler would like Ranran a lot! [ because of boobs-- except no, that's not what Maria would know or think even if it's true, she just giggles.. ]

Both Battler and Ranran are very lively, after all! You could be friends!
uuing: (there's a face i want to see)

[personal profile] uuing 2012-06-16 01:56 pm (UTC)(link)
Uu-, Maria's sure he would if Ranran asked him about it nicely!

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