conduit | [dw1/text!] The Cured

[dw1/text!] The Cured

[ Rangiku wasn't a stranger to this weekend's strange doings. And, now, more than ever, she's determined to help Johto see the light! That these fourth walls and their extra events are merely alcohol binges that the entire region, from Maria to Jack Skellington, takes part in! ]

Hello, everyone! It's your favorite party girl, Rangiku Matsumoto, reporting in with some helpful tips to make sure your lives continue safely ★~!! Now, recently, I've been noticing that every six months or so, everyone wakes up with a weird, vague recollection of what happened and a giant headache. Being experienced with hangovers, I decided to make a little faq of what just went on. Well, enjoy! 1. So, what happened this weekend? Well, simply put, you partied ★! For some reason, you were intoxicated by drinking alcohol, one of the best things there is to enjoy in Johto, or in any world! How this happened, or why this happened, isn't very known! Perhaps all of the water turns into saké as part of a Team Rocket evil plot, or something in the air makes you wanna drink, or maybe it's just a festival that no one could remember but point is you got wasted. If you rarely drink, you probably vomited in someone's hair, and made a fool of yourself in public doing humiliating things you would have never done if you had an ounce of sobriety on you ★! But, most of us, who can handle their drinking, just merely passed out. No biggie ★! So, somewhere along the lines, you just got drunk, somehow, and passed out after doing some very questionably possible things. You might be able to remember vague insane experiences, but, please be assured, it was only the alcohol processing that info, and, sometimes saké gives you wild dreams ★! 2. So, what are the effects now? The inability to recall what happened the previous night is the biggest one and a sign that you definitely partied hard. Another sign is waking up in strange places you don't recall ever visiting ★! Other side effects include headache, nausea, sensitivity to light and sound, lethargy, intense feelings of depression, thirst, and diarrhea ★! Rest assured though, as the latter symptoms are very rare and Johto's bathrooms are eternally clean! (I hope!) 3. How can I cure it? Well, speaking from personal experience of over two centuries of unsobriety, these remedies have varying levels of success. A. Drink. Like A Fish No, seriously ★! The more water you have, the more your body is able to feel better. You're super dehydrated after you go on these wild alcohol binges so you'll feel a lot better if you just get some liquid back into you! B. Vitamin B6 Studies have shown that not only taking several hundred times the recommended amount of a daily intake isn't fatal for you, but it also helps your hangover! C. Pokélyte! Or any drink that gives you more electrolytes! Feraligatrade and Psyducmax are excellent examples of these types of drinks! D. Drink more Alcohol! My favorite cure! The party don't stop, no! Just drink until your hangover goes away! It'll stave off the symptoms and buy you time to try the rest of these to kill it for good! E. Food and Water Food absorbs the alcohol quicker, so just eat tons of noodles and you'll be feeling better in no time ★! F. Oxygen! Just get some more, somehow ★! G. Tons of Honey and/or Sugar! Cure your sweet tooth as you drink! My personal favorite if you like drinking tea, so make some for a deadly hangover killing mix ★! H. Artichoke If you're boring! There are many more odd remedies, so, if these somehow don't do it for you, just let me know and I'll be able to prescribe some more ★! Anything to help my fellow Johto-ians! Anyways, I hope your hangovers ease up just as much as mine do! The doctor is out ★~!

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Yeah, but, if they're oblivious to everything then how can they diagnose something as a hangover? The symptoms are in common with a bunch of other things! [ That's how she was able to pass off her laziness. In return, she was known for being constantly sick. ]

Yeah. That wasn't the best moment. If it makes you feel better, you all make it through. [ She doesn't want to talk about Gin, or reveal how much she liked him. So, she just agrees and drops the conversation for the both of them. She can accept how much it's bothering him, but, selfishly, she doesn't want to go to the stuff that's bothering her. ]

You'd be surprised what they can and cannot diagnose, Rangiku. Though I don't suggest you try their patience anytime soon if you have any idea of what's good for you. [Hopefully she has better ideas than constantly passing as sick. He remembers when Unohana caught onto that little facade and...well. It wasn't pretty.

Just like what he's about to ask, but he's got to know. Sorry, Rangiku, but there are some things your Captain needs to know before he completely falls apart.]

Hinamori included?

Oh, believe me, I know. Sometimes they can be quite scary! Like that time where they sent the police after me for a month so I could visit a friend in the hospital...

[ Let's not remind them of that time... ]

Yes. Even Hinamori. After the fight, she was taken to the twelfth squad to regenerate her organs. The treatment was a success, the last time I heard anything.

Considering you spent that month in Ilex Forest, I do hope you learned from that incident and won't be repeating it. It isn't as if you got to your friend any faster than if you'd waited another day or two.

[Let's not remind them of that time when her Vulpix nearly started a forest fire? ...haaaa, sorry. He needs something else to focus on, so....whoops? He is very relieved at this moment, though, which is why he's sticking to text]

Thank you, for telling me. I know it can't be easy to go over those memories again.

Taichou! That visit was urgent! You would have gone quicker than I have if it was someone you cared about! [ Well, uh, at first she was going to mention Momo, but, she feels like that'd immediately make her on her own if she ever ended up hospitalized, or broke. And she really needs help with at least one of them down the line! ]

It is, actually. I've experienced worst, and, as long as I'm helping to spread good news, I don't mind~!

I can understand that it was urgent, but if you'd waited for three days, you would have actually been able to reach him and not have to spend a month in a forest.

[And it's a good thing she didn't mention Momo. Because if she had, she'd have the pleasure of having him actually switch to video to glare at her. That's a very touch subject at the moment, Rangiku darling. Please be careful about it.]

Though I can't say I would have done any different in your position, if it was a person I cared about.

I knew it, Captain! You have a big heart! And yes, I could have waited for three days. But I could have also expected that the Nurse Joy's would be totally understanding and not freaking crazy with short term memory loss!

[ ...Yeah. It's good she didn't. ]

I know if I ended up in the hospital, you'd drop what you were doing and fly to me! [ oh she is so wrong... ]

You could also learn to expect nothing but trouble from the natives. You'd be better off that way.

[Ah, experience talking there. The nurses are so troublesome!]

Perhaps. That depends on why you'd ended up in the hospital in the first place. [A sprain? He'd fret but not go. Other things? ...Perhaps.]

The natives are really nice sometimes though! Like, one of them constantly forgets my tab! [ THE BARTENDERS ARE SO NICE THOUGH... ]

It won't be because of alcohol poisoning! I promise!

Or perhaps he's waiting to give you a larger one. Would you honestly be surprised if that was the case?

[Bartenders. of course it's bartenders. What is he going to do with you...]

Then I'll see what I can do. But I don't make any promises about that.

I don't think so. He forgets my name all the time and sometimes doesn't even recognize me when I walk in through the door!

[ LET HER DRINK AS MUCH AS SHE WANTS...? ]

It's okay, Taichou! I'll try my best to not get injured!

And you're certain taking advantage of that is the best idea?

[Prettttyyy much. Not much he can do to stop her even if he wanted to. Which he does. You're really better off sober, Rangiku!]

I'll hold you to that. Ise's enough trouble; having to deal with the two of you being in and out of the Center like that would be too much trouble.

Of course it is. I mean he won't be able to remember and soon I can just evade his memory once more. [ Surprisingly Not An Awful Idea. Rangiku giggles at Toshiro's next thought. ]

Oh please! As if I'll ever be as unfortunate as Nanao!

Provided things continue to work as they have been doing. This place has ways of surprising us.

[Can she really blame him for the paranoia? It's been a long almost-year.]

Don't test your luck, then. It can't hurt to be cautious.

This place is never truly consistent but I think this is a pretty goo exception, Taichou!

[ She's been here for longer than a year. She's not sure how he could remember the thousands she drunk away. ]

It's going to be fine. There's no need to worry over this, Taichou! If people can forget attempted murders in two weeks, I'm going to be fine for life!

You would think so, wouldn't you?

[There'd be fond exasperation in his tone if that had been spoken word, but eh. She knows what he means, and truly, a forgetful bartender is a pretty good thing to have run into. Could be a lot worse!]

That's no reason to not be cautious and you know it. I doubt they'd let you drink if you end up having to take an extended stay in a Center at some point.

There's no reason to be super cautious either. They've demonstrated time and time again they can't remember extremely important things, no matter how severe they are. Again, if they can't remember attempted murders, I can definitely drink and get away with skipping on the tab.

[ SHE WANTS TO THINK HER PRIZE IS STILL PURE AND GOLDEN... Too bad it's probably going to come back and bite her someday. ]

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[dw1/text!] The Cured

Sorry for the sluggishness. I had finals!

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