conduit: (Default)
conduit ([personal profile] conduit) wrote2012-05-29 08:39 pm

[dw1/text!] The Cured

[ Rangiku wasn't a stranger to this weekend's strange doings. And, now, more than ever, she's determined to help Johto see the light! That these fourth walls and their extra events are merely alcohol binges that the entire region, from Maria to Jack Skellington, takes part in! ]

Hello, everyone! It's your favorite party girl, Rangiku Matsumoto, reporting in with some helpful tips to make sure your lives continue safely ★~!!

Now, recently, I've been noticing that every six months or so, everyone wakes up with a weird, vague recollection of what happened and a giant headache. Being experienced with hangovers, I decided to make a little faq of what just went on. Well, enjoy!

1. So, what happened this weekend?

Well, simply put, you partied ★! For some reason, you were intoxicated by drinking alcohol, one of the best things there is to enjoy in Johto, or in any world! How this happened, or why this happened, isn't very known! Perhaps all of the water turns into saké as part of a Team Rocket evil plot, or something in the air makes you wanna drink, or maybe it's just a festival that no one could remember but point is you got wasted. If you rarely drink, you probably vomited in someone's hair, and made a fool of yourself in public doing humiliating things you would have never done if you had an ounce of sobriety on you ★!

But, most of us, who can handle their drinking, just merely passed out. No biggie ★! So, somewhere along the lines, you just got drunk, somehow, and passed out after doing some very questionably possible things. You might be able to remember vague insane experiences, but, please be assured, it was only the alcohol processing that info, and, sometimes saké gives you wild dreams ★!

2. So, what are the effects now?

The inability to recall what happened the previous night is the biggest one and a sign that you definitely partied hard. Another sign is waking up in strange places you don't recall ever visiting ★! Other side effects include headache, nausea, sensitivity to light and sound, lethargy, intense feelings of depression, thirst, and diarrhea ★! Rest assured though, as the latter symptoms are very rare and Johto's bathrooms are eternally clean! (I hope!)

3. How can I cure it?
Well, speaking from personal experience of over two centuries of unsobriety, these remedies have varying levels of success.

A. Drink. Like A Fish

No, seriously ★! The more water you have, the more your body is able to feel better. You're super dehydrated after you go on these wild alcohol binges so you'll feel a lot better if you just get some liquid back into you!

B. Vitamin B6
Studies have shown that not only taking several hundred times the recommended amount of a daily intake isn't fatal for you, but it also helps your hangover!

C. Pokélyte!
Or any drink that gives you more electrolytes! Feraligatrade and Psyducmax are excellent examples of these types of drinks!


D. Drink more Alcohol!
My favorite cure! The party don't stop, no! Just drink until your hangover goes away! It'll stave off the symptoms and buy you time to try the rest of these to kill it for good!

E. Food and Water
Food absorbs the alcohol quicker, so just eat tons of noodles and you'll be feeling better in no time ★!

F. Oxygen!

Just get some more, somehow ★!

G. Tons of Honey and/or Sugar!
Cure your sweet tooth as you drink! My personal favorite if you like drinking tea, so make some for a deadly hangover killing mix ★!

H. Artichoke
If you're boring!

There are many more odd remedies, so, if these somehow don't do it for you, just let me know and I'll be able to prescribe some more ★! Anything to help my fellow Johto-ians! Anyways, I hope your hangovers ease up just as much as mine do!

The doctor is out ★~!



uuing: (please chase it; chase it)

[personal profile] uuing 2012-06-14 01:01 pm (UTC)(link)
Uu-, Maria thinks Battler would like Ranran a lot! [ because of boobs-- except no, that's not what Maria would know or think even if it's true, she just giggles.. ]

Both Battler and Ranran are very lively, after all! You could be friends!
when_turks_fly: blanket Do Not Steal When Inactive (and it's → something so simple)

[personal profile] when_turks_fly 2012-06-14 02:15 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks, Rangiku. It really is and I wouldn't waste it for the world.
tinymoonkid: (two best friends)

[personal profile] tinymoonkid 2012-06-14 06:23 pm (UTC)(link)
Great meeting you too!
milquetoasthero: (59. you could never)

[text]

[personal profile] milquetoasthero 2012-06-15 12:17 am (UTC)(link)
Well, I hope he comes back here then! ...Er, well, I mean, I guess it isn't the best thing to happen, but this really isn't the worst place to get trapped at, right?
enjoymyatelier: just imagine the crossed arms and this is von karma as balls (are you cross examining a parrot)

[personal profile] enjoymyatelier 2012-06-15 02:26 am (UTC)(link)
And? Legendary Pokemon aren't going to operate by normal rules. I would assume there's a reason many people haven't encountered them.
enjoymyatelier: zach. they're here. (migrane's a comin.)

[personal profile] enjoymyatelier 2012-06-15 07:22 pm (UTC)(link)
We are talking about a theoretical legendary Pokemon that can erase memories en masse and you are questioning why nobody remembers it showing up.

Think about this line of logic for a moment.
milquetoasthero: (30. with my whiskers to the sun)

[personal profile] milquetoasthero 2012-06-15 08:20 pm (UTC)(link)
Is your world that bad?
when_turks_fly: blanket Do Not Steal When Inactive (this is → not an every day occurrence)

[personal profile] when_turks_fly 2012-06-15 10:08 pm (UTC)(link)
[ And then, there was almost a keysmash. ]

I don't know about that, but thanks.
enjoymyatelier: i am just done with this shit (ugh whatever)

[personal profile] enjoymyatelier 2012-06-16 01:53 pm (UTC)(link)
These things are somewhat self-aware, aren't they? There are plenty of humans who do odd, frustrating things to other people for their own amusement, so why shouldn't a Pokemon? Furthermore, if it's that familiar with humans but also has the ability to avoid detection, I would assume it has the ability to disguise itself. This is not exactly a completely unprecedented ability.
uuing: (there's a face i want to see)

[personal profile] uuing 2012-06-16 01:56 pm (UTC)(link)
Uu-, Maria's sure he would if Ranran asked him about it nicely!
milquetoasthero: (08. for everyone to fall in love)

[personal profile] milquetoasthero 2012-06-16 04:46 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, that's good. And it could, although with things the way they've been lately I can't say here's completely safe either, as nice as it really is.
kyoukashotennis: (Hmm)

[personal profile] kyoukashotennis 2012-06-16 08:23 pm (UTC)(link)
Hmm. I guess that's true. You get used to things in time, after all.
when_turks_fly: blanket Do Not Steal When Inactive (and it's → something so simple)

[personal profile] when_turks_fly 2012-06-17 01:04 am (UTC)(link)
So, what are you going to do now, Rangiku?

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